7 Ways to Manage Cultural Differences in an Interracial Marriage
Marriages are a lot of hard work. Interracial marriages are even more complicated due to inherent cultural differences.
They say love is blind and can see no colour, caste, creed, or religion. But over time, when kids and family come into play, intercultural marriages can get really challenging unless you learn how to navigate them with tact and sensitivity.
If you are in an interracial relationship or considering getting into an intercultural marriage, you will need specific tools to accommodate for cultural differences. Read on to find out how you can manage problems with interracial relationships before they blow out of proportion and cause irreconcilable damage.
7 Ways to Manage Interracial Marriage Cultural Differences
An interracial relationship is precious in today’s polarized world. Your mixed-race marriage will be even more special when you learn how to address cultural differences and other common problems.
1. Be Curious
As a mixed couple, it’s critical to feel accepted and validated by your partner regardless of your differences. The power of asking questions instead of making assumptions is the key here. What better way to show acceptance than asking questions to understand their culture and heritage? Being curious about how their culture impacts their worldview and how they think about relationships will be a gamechanger for an interracial couple.
2. Welcome Uncomfortable Conversations
History sometimes places certain cultures at odds with others. Unfortunately, this historical background can seep through to our relationships, with partners subconsciously attributing negative aspects of a culture's history to their partner.
On the other hand, some partners may feel an innate sense of shame or emotional debt for what their ancestors may have done. For example, imagine a mixed-race marriage between a southern white man from a family of previous slaveholders and a West Indian woman whose family was displaced from their homeland due to slavery.
Although the partners have no direct influence on the past actions of their ancestors, the past doesn't just disappear; they will need to have many uncomfortable conversations to understand where each party stands. In addition, certain developments and anniversaries can continuously trigger the mixed couple.
3. Know Your Differences
Let’s face it; people are not all the same. We all come from different places, with different beliefs and outlooks. Therefore, knowing what makes us different is just as vital as knowing what unites us.
There’s a good chance that your cultural differences drew you to one another. Or perhaps, like Romeo and Juliet, you came together despite the differences. Knowing these differences between you and your partner is essential to managing an interracial marriage.
4. Educate Yourself About Their Culture
When it comes down to it, the more you know, the more you grow. The same is true for our relationships. Learning about each other’s cultural differences is a fun thing to do together.
Plan a museum visit to explore cultural histories as your next date. Date nights can also include visiting temples or mosques to learn about different faiths or celebrating important cultural dates with your partner’s family. Most cultures welcome anyone wanting to learn with an open mind.
5. Accept That It Will Take More Time
All couples take time to figure out how they work best as a union, acclimating to their partner and figuring out how the puzzle pieces fit together. However, in an intercultural/interracial marriage, interracial couples use two different puzzles to build an entirely new picture.
So, don’t compare yourself to other couples and how well they may be doing. Your mixed-race marriage is unique and beautiful; like all great things, it takes time to flourish.
6. Create Blended Traditions
Think out of the box to blend your cultures and create a hybrid culture. Combine your favorite holidays and traditions to create something that mirrors your unique relationship. This is a great way to foster acceptance and understanding and avoid some of the typical problems with interracial relationships.
7. Discuss How Kids Fit Into Your Culturally-Unique Family
Determining how children fit into your life is always challenging. But parenting in a mixed-race family is more difficult due to cultural differences in communication and parenting. In addition, extended family complicates the situation further by providing harsh and steadfast opinions. It’s important to listen to these concerns, but much like with your relationship, you need to create a parenting style unique for your immediate family.
You and your partner should think about your own childhoods and the issues you may have faced due to culture/race, as there is a high probability of your children facing the same issues. But the good news is that your child will have something you didn’t — you and your experiences.
Final Thoughts
Although the challenges of an interracial marriage can make life more difficult for interracial couples, mixed marriage benefits far outweigh the challenges when you have the right tools. With curiosity, acceptance, vulnerability, and deliberate education, you can create blended traditions that work best for your relationship and children.
If you have any questions or want to know more about managing interracial marriages, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Together, we can make interracial marriages work better.
